Kesha’s ‘Retro’ Bikinis

Superstar pop singer, Kesha, was spotted on the sunny beaches of Australia wearing what appeared to be a bikini. Although I’m not exactly certain that we can qualify this train wreck of a bathing suit as a bikini.

As a rule, bikinis are supposed to flatter a woman, and make her look sexy. Apparently rules were meant to be broken because Kesha surely made a doozy of a mistake when she pulled on this ‘retro’ high waisted swimsuit with barely a top there.

I wonder who picked that swimsuit for Kesha, because there is no way that her stylist would have let her walk out in public wearing this monstrosity. Kesha normally appears to be a slim, slender woman, but this bathing suit hits her at all the wrong spots. Kesha, some things were meant to be left in this past, and this bikini is one of them.

First of all, the top is so tiny that I’m quite shocked that “nothing” fell out as she was running around in the water! The waistband of the bottom portion is so high that is looks as if its resting up against one of her ribs. The mesh siding is also not attractive. If anything, it’s making the swimsuit look worse. Because of the mesh siding, it looks like Kesha has a slight pouch in the place where her stomach should be.

Funny, I didn’t know that Kesha had morphed into a marsupial. Whoever told us that black clearly never expected a disaster like this to take place.

From other pictures of Kesha that we’ve seen, she is clearly thin as a rail. You can see in this picture that she’s actually thin although I think I now understand why she decided to go with a high waist bikini. It looks like she slacked off a little on her exercise regime.

She’s got a soft belly fat now, which I’m sure wasn’t there last year. She also looks like she’s seen a ghost. That pale white colour definitely does not sit well with her hair. She looks rather sickly, especially when you contrast her pale skin with that black bikini, which looks more like lingerie than anything. Seeing as she’s so pale, Kesha should definitely opt for boldly coloured swimsuits and make sure that her “softness” is hidden.

But don’t worry Kesha, we are going to help you pick the right swimsuit for your body type. Here are a few options:

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